🌱 Are You the One Who Always Adjusts?
A big question I've been asking myself: Are you adapting - or disappearing?
Hello and welcome back to Edit Your Life!
Let me know if you recognise this as much as I do – being the one who makes things easier. Who adjusts. Who reads the room, picks up the slack, senses the tension before anyone says a word.
Yeah? Oof, I feel you.
Have you ever left a situation like this feeling like you disappeared a little in the process?
Maybe you said yes when you meant no? You might have offered help when you were already at capacity. Or swallowed what you really thought, because speaking up would’ve made things harder.
When you read it, it feels so inauthentic and uncomfortable. But this is not about blaming yourself for coping.
It’s just about noticing the cost of always bending. And how to stay whole while still being responsive.
This Week’s Edit: Adapt, Not Absorb
Let’s start here - noticing some things in the moment, or thinking back on some recent interactions:
Are you adjusting a little, or are you on the other end of the scale, abandoning yourself?
Do you compromise to connect, or to avoid conflict?
Do you know what your needs are, before you try to meet everyone else’s?
Adaptability is a skill. But when you become fluent in everyone else’s preferences, prioritising theirs and muting your own, it really starts to chip away at your sense of self.
So, have a think about how you react and adapt. Try and take notice this week – I’ll be doing this too…
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Thank you!! B x
A Bit of Theory: Identity Under Pressure
One marker of resilience is the ability to stay true to yourself, even as circumstances shift.
When we’re under pressure, it’s easy to lose that thread. We try to keep the peace. We survive the moment by blending in. I’m pretty prone to this, especially when I’m drained.
It’s important to make space for all of you - the version of you that adapts, and the version that knows what matters most, like where your boundaries lie.
Values-based decision making is one way to practice this. Which is basically just asking yourself:
🟡 What’s important here?
🟡 What do I want to stand for in this moment?
It gives you a stake in your own experience. And it pulls you out of performative connection and back into presence, and being yourself.
And if you think it’s just not something you need to worry about in that particular situation, then of course, feel free to ride the wave.
Real-Life Reminder: You Can Be Adaptable and Still Have Edges
On that last point, flexibility is not the same as formlessness.
You’re allowed to pivot, change your mind, and show up differently depending on the context. That’s not weakness, that’s intelligence.
But you don’t have to become a different person in every room. You don’t have to lose your shape to keep things smooth.
It’s worth being mindful of this. Trust your instincts in each situation, but be sure to stay aware of what you’re doing. That’s being smart, not formless.
Quick Edit
💬 Instead of: “I’ll just go with whatever works for everyone.”
✨ Try offering an opinion. Any honest opinion. See if it goes in your favour.
Let’s Talk
What’s one (or more) part(s) of yourself you want to carry forward, no matter what changes around you?
You can just hit reply to share with me, comment, or take 30 seconds to jot it down for yourself. Keep it close by for when you need it.
As always, thanks for being here and reading.
I’ll bring you more on resilience and adaptability next Thursday.
Have a great week!
Beth x